Hey there... I just wanted to take a minute to let you all know that I am starting to hear from women from all over telling me about their success stories! So far I have had three different women (two in the states and one from the UK) share with me that they, too, had been given the POF diagnosis and told their only hope would be donor eggs and after a few months of doing the same regimen as me (the supplements, Chinese Medicine, etc) they have turned their diagnosis around! Two of the girls officially got their BFP and one of them their FSH went from 70 to 7 and just got their period back!!! This is absolutely AMAZING news and I couldn't be happier. I wanted to share this with you so you can have even more hope that the doctor's word isn't always final and they don't know everything!
It means the world to me to hear from you all and the kind things you write. It is wonderful to know that my words have given hope and inspiration to so many others suffering with the same terrible condition. It was reading other people's success stories that gave me the hope I needed to stay strong and keep fighting to get my body functioning properly again. So to know I am contributing in the same way is truly a gift and an honor.
Please continue to share your stories. It is all of us getting the word out there to each other that is causing all these positive changes and instilling hope to others all over the world!
August 5- The Big Reveal
About two weeks ago we had our monthly visit with my OB. When the receptionist originally scheduled me, she said it was for an ultrasound. I thought it was odd that it was so close to the one we had to have with Maternal Fetal Medicine the week before, but since they said I'd be getting a lot of ultrasounds with me being "super high risk" I didn't think much of it. While were at our visit with MFM the week before, the ultrasound tech told us she thought Baby B was a girl and couldn't quite tell with Baby A. So we were totally banking on my doctor being able to tell us the genders at the visit with her. Needless to say we were pretty disappointed to find out that the appointment was not for an ultrasound, but for a routine Pap! My poor hubby took time off work to come to the visit only to see me get a Pap Smear! Ewww! I'm sure that was thrilling for him. At that point the next ultrasound was going to be the Anatomy Scan at MFM on August 20th and there was NO CHANCE IN HELL we were waiting that long. I immediately jumped online and searched for the most affordable (and accurate) third party ultrasound company in town and booked an appointment. The sucky thing was that we were leaving to fly to Upstate NY to visit the inlaws the very next day so I had to book it for when we got back. Made the appointment for August 5th and impatiently waiting with bated breath...
Which brings us to today, August 5th! I could barely sleep last night I was so nervous/excited about today. We wanted so badly for it to be a boy/girl combo, but I had a feeling it could be two girls. Everyone has been asking me if I thought I knew what combination I was having and I really didn't. What I did definitely feel was that there was at least one girl in there. That I just knew at the center of my core. But had no idea what the other was.
So the Hubs and I met at Prenatal Impressions at noon and both of us had ants in our pants. So nerve-wracking! We asked the ultrasound guy to do Baby B first, since we had already been told at our last ultrasound that there was a good chance it was a girl. And sure enough it is! They refer to the parts as being "Dangle Down" which means there are these three lines that represent the labia. I could definitely see the lines he was referring to, but the whole image looked like a big blobby mess to me, so I'll take his word for it!
Next came Baby B. This was it, the whole enchilada. Wouldn't ya know the little bugger had it's legs crossed! After some maneuvering the tech was able to get a money shot. And as he typed the letters I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. D A N G L E UP. 100% Boy.
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!!!!!! I wanted to jump up and do a cartwheel! (which I would have totally broken an ankle or something) but I seriously couldn't believe it. Total Shock. I was seriously thinking we already have been so lucky that there was no way we'd get the boy/girl combo we wanted. But sure enough!...
I was able to see why Baby A is always moving around like crazy when we see him. He's got his sister laying on top of him at all times cramping his style! He's probably super uncomfortable in there!
So there ya have it. I just had to share. It's pretty surreal. Now it's time to solidify the names. We already have a pretty good idea of what they'll be, but we want to be 100% sure before setting it in stone. And it's also time to start planning for the nursery! I'm thinking of going with a light green baby animal jungle type theme. That's pretty gender neutral but still cute.
eeeeeeek! I can't believe it!!!!!!!!
Wishing you all the same kind of luck in your journey!! I've already heard from a few of you who got your BFP and I couldn't be more elated for you. I believe we ALL have a chance so never, ever give up!
Which brings us to today, August 5th! I could barely sleep last night I was so nervous/excited about today. We wanted so badly for it to be a boy/girl combo, but I had a feeling it could be two girls. Everyone has been asking me if I thought I knew what combination I was having and I really didn't. What I did definitely feel was that there was at least one girl in there. That I just knew at the center of my core. But had no idea what the other was.
So the Hubs and I met at Prenatal Impressions at noon and both of us had ants in our pants. So nerve-wracking! We asked the ultrasound guy to do Baby B first, since we had already been told at our last ultrasound that there was a good chance it was a girl. And sure enough it is! They refer to the parts as being "Dangle Down" which means there are these three lines that represent the labia. I could definitely see the lines he was referring to, but the whole image looked like a big blobby mess to me, so I'll take his word for it!
Next came Baby B. This was it, the whole enchilada. Wouldn't ya know the little bugger had it's legs crossed! After some maneuvering the tech was able to get a money shot. And as he typed the letters I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. D A N G L E UP. 100% Boy.
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!!!!!! I wanted to jump up and do a cartwheel! (which I would have totally broken an ankle or something) but I seriously couldn't believe it. Total Shock. I was seriously thinking we already have been so lucky that there was no way we'd get the boy/girl combo we wanted. But sure enough!...
I was able to see why Baby A is always moving around like crazy when we see him. He's got his sister laying on top of him at all times cramping his style! He's probably super uncomfortable in there!
So there ya have it. I just had to share. It's pretty surreal. Now it's time to solidify the names. We already have a pretty good idea of what they'll be, but we want to be 100% sure before setting it in stone. And it's also time to start planning for the nursery! I'm thinking of going with a light green baby animal jungle type theme. That's pretty gender neutral but still cute.
eeeeeeek! I can't believe it!!!!!!!!
Wishing you all the same kind of luck in your journey!! I've already heard from a few of you who got your BFP and I couldn't be more elated for you. I believe we ALL have a chance so never, ever give up!
July 19- Helloooo, Second Trimester!
I'm FINALLY starting to feel better and not like death warmed over all the time. While I know I am truly blessed to be carrying twins (and even pregnant at all!) I won't lie, it was a rough few weeks. Violently throwing up and peeing myself at the same time became routine for me, and I was perpetually nauseous. This weekend I hit my second trimester and I'm finally start feeling like myself again. I have enough strength and energy now to have good workouts again and not drag myself through them. I still can't believe I've gained 20 pounds the first trimester. And that's with working out all the time! But now that I'm no longer sick all the time I'm laying off the bread again and back to drinking my green smoothies in the morning. I'm definitely starting to get a baby bump. The hubs loves that. It's so cute how he wants me to look bigger so he can feel all proud that "he put those in there." LOL. I'm not feeling any movement yet, but it does feel like I've got tennis balls or something stuffed in my pelvic area. Which is making me have to pee every five minutes. If it gets any worse I may need a catheter bag! Perhaps Coach makes one? ;-)
Today we had our appointment with maternal fetal medicine. I didn't get to meet our doctor this appointment, that is scheduled for next time. We got to have an ultrasound, which we really love seeing the little ones on the screen. They had to do the NT scan as part of the first trimester screening. When I went in a expected to do the ultrasound vaginally as that's how they've been in the past. To my surprise, it was the kind over the belly. We're progressing! There's always that moment of nervousness when they first appear on the screen. Just want to make sure everything still going okay. But there they were, both of them squirming around like crazy! The nurse said that they are stacked sort of like bunk beds and in slightly different positions - Baby B (the one on top) is facing head down and Baby A (at the bottom is sort of sideways). Which doesn't make sense to me because in looking at the picture they don't look like they're in opposite directions. But what do I know?
So she started the NT scan on Baby B first. (It will be so nice to find out their sex so we can name them). This consisted of checking for a nasal bone and measuring the space or fluid sac in the back of the neck. This is to for signs of Down Syndrome. Baby B was in the right position and everything measured out okay. When it came time to check on Baby A, the little guy (or girl) decided to be complicated. As soon as the nurse started checking it out, it started squirming around all over the place. I was watching it on the screen with bewilderment wondering what was going on. Then it hit me that the baby was actually turning itself around to face my back! I could tell the nurse was getting frustrated but I wasn't sure what we could really do about it. She finally made me get up and empty my bladder again and move around a little bit. Then when I laid back down she started poking at my stomach until the baby actually flipped back over! That is so crazy that poking around down there actually makes them move. And what's even crazier to me is that I can't feel that at all! At least not yet. Luckily, Baby A was finally able to be checked out and everything looked okay. I was actually kind of surprised that the ultrasound picture wasn't as clear as the one at my doctor's office and this was at Winnie Palmer Hospital which is one of the best in the country. What I like about the one at my OB's office is they have a giant 50 inch screen in front of you so you can see the images up close. Seems like the picture is definitely more crisp there, too. But luckily I will be going to both doctors frequently so I'll get to see them at both places. Oh and the nurse said she thought one MIGHT be a girl and at first said she thought the other MIGHT be a boy, but once Baby A changed positions she couldn't get a clear shot. But she did say she was only guessing because it was hard to get a clear view. Ahh!!! I want to know NOW damn it! The boy/girl combo is definitely what we're hoping for, but for some reason I have this nagging feeling that it could be two girls. Only time will tell! I have an appt with my OB next Fri so fingers crossed she'll be able to tell by then...
The next step was the doctor coming in and checking the images to see if everything looked okay. It's not the doctor I'll have there, I'll get to meet him in August. But it's still one of the maternal fetal medicine doctors. He said everything looked good and asked which screening I was getting done. I told him the genetic counselor suggested I do a integrated sequential screening, which is where they draw blood now and then in another month and compare the two numbers to give you a probability of down syndrome and trisomy. Which is a whole lot of waiting! Especially since those with singleton pregnancies get a fancy new test that gives them the results at a 98% accuracy rate within a few days! But it doesn't work with twins. :-/ This doctor suggested we do something called a modified sequential screening which just means will get the results back from the first blood draw and then still do the second one next month. The results of the first test gives an 80% accuracy rate and then when you combine the one from the second blood draw it jumps up to the high 90s. This doctor recently transferred from New York and said that's what they do there and honestly New York is so much more progressive than Florida I was totally on board with it. Especially since we'll get some results back sooner.
So that's about all for now. I'll attach some pics of the recent ultrasound and my latest belly bump pic from week 12. I don't have week 13 because I was a little behind on my picture taking and then found out I was a few days behind where I thought I was with how far along I am, so rather than take a week 13 picture in the middle of the week I'm just doing week 14 this weekend, which is precisely where I am at. :-)
Love you all and thank you SO very much for your support.
Keep on fighting the fight and never give up! <3
Baby A (sucking it's thumb!)
Baby B (looking kind of creepy LOL)
Stacked in my belly. This is where Baby A turned around.
Definitely starting to show.... oh boy, I'm gonna be huge! eeek!
Today we had our appointment with maternal fetal medicine. I didn't get to meet our doctor this appointment, that is scheduled for next time. We got to have an ultrasound, which we really love seeing the little ones on the screen. They had to do the NT scan as part of the first trimester screening. When I went in a expected to do the ultrasound vaginally as that's how they've been in the past. To my surprise, it was the kind over the belly. We're progressing! There's always that moment of nervousness when they first appear on the screen. Just want to make sure everything still going okay. But there they were, both of them squirming around like crazy! The nurse said that they are stacked sort of like bunk beds and in slightly different positions - Baby B (the one on top) is facing head down and Baby A (at the bottom is sort of sideways). Which doesn't make sense to me because in looking at the picture they don't look like they're in opposite directions. But what do I know?
So she started the NT scan on Baby B first. (It will be so nice to find out their sex so we can name them). This consisted of checking for a nasal bone and measuring the space or fluid sac in the back of the neck. This is to for signs of Down Syndrome. Baby B was in the right position and everything measured out okay. When it came time to check on Baby A, the little guy (or girl) decided to be complicated. As soon as the nurse started checking it out, it started squirming around all over the place. I was watching it on the screen with bewilderment wondering what was going on. Then it hit me that the baby was actually turning itself around to face my back! I could tell the nurse was getting frustrated but I wasn't sure what we could really do about it. She finally made me get up and empty my bladder again and move around a little bit. Then when I laid back down she started poking at my stomach until the baby actually flipped back over! That is so crazy that poking around down there actually makes them move. And what's even crazier to me is that I can't feel that at all! At least not yet. Luckily, Baby A was finally able to be checked out and everything looked okay. I was actually kind of surprised that the ultrasound picture wasn't as clear as the one at my doctor's office and this was at Winnie Palmer Hospital which is one of the best in the country. What I like about the one at my OB's office is they have a giant 50 inch screen in front of you so you can see the images up close. Seems like the picture is definitely more crisp there, too. But luckily I will be going to both doctors frequently so I'll get to see them at both places. Oh and the nurse said she thought one MIGHT be a girl and at first said she thought the other MIGHT be a boy, but once Baby A changed positions she couldn't get a clear shot. But she did say she was only guessing because it was hard to get a clear view. Ahh!!! I want to know NOW damn it! The boy/girl combo is definitely what we're hoping for, but for some reason I have this nagging feeling that it could be two girls. Only time will tell! I have an appt with my OB next Fri so fingers crossed she'll be able to tell by then...
The next step was the doctor coming in and checking the images to see if everything looked okay. It's not the doctor I'll have there, I'll get to meet him in August. But it's still one of the maternal fetal medicine doctors. He said everything looked good and asked which screening I was getting done. I told him the genetic counselor suggested I do a integrated sequential screening, which is where they draw blood now and then in another month and compare the two numbers to give you a probability of down syndrome and trisomy. Which is a whole lot of waiting! Especially since those with singleton pregnancies get a fancy new test that gives them the results at a 98% accuracy rate within a few days! But it doesn't work with twins. :-/ This doctor suggested we do something called a modified sequential screening which just means will get the results back from the first blood draw and then still do the second one next month. The results of the first test gives an 80% accuracy rate and then when you combine the one from the second blood draw it jumps up to the high 90s. This doctor recently transferred from New York and said that's what they do there and honestly New York is so much more progressive than Florida I was totally on board with it. Especially since we'll get some results back sooner.
So that's about all for now. I'll attach some pics of the recent ultrasound and my latest belly bump pic from week 12. I don't have week 13 because I was a little behind on my picture taking and then found out I was a few days behind where I thought I was with how far along I am, so rather than take a week 13 picture in the middle of the week I'm just doing week 14 this weekend, which is precisely where I am at. :-)
Love you all and thank you SO very much for your support.
Keep on fighting the fight and never give up! <3
Baby A (sucking it's thumb!)
Baby B (looking kind of creepy LOL)
Stacked in my belly. This is where Baby A turned around.
Definitely starting to show.... oh boy, I'm gonna be huge! eeek!
July 2- 11 Weeks and Counting...
Hey there! I just realized it's been a while since I've checked in, so I wanted to let you know how things are going. :-)
So I am now 11 weeks (which means I am IN my 12th week... that whole thing is still weird to me) and I am sloooowly coming out of the perpetually nauseous phase. Which, if you would have asked me yesterday I couldn't have said the same because I was ill ALL damn day. But... looking at it as a whole, it's not every single day any more so I am thinking that means I am on my way out of the trenches.
I've had a few doctor appointments in the past couple weeks. The first one being with my OB once my fertility doctor released me. I absolutely LOVE my OB (I had hand picked her last year when I was initially looking for one back when I thought I'd get preggers with no problem). The last time I had seen her was for my annual girl visit in December,where she had recommended I see a fertility specialist because I hadn't gotten my period after getting off birth control. So when she came in the room I told her all about my adventures with Premature Ovarian Failure and filled her in up to the present, a la me being pregnant with twins. I then began to rapid fire a list of questions I had ready, to which she answered thoroughly. One of the questions I asked was about delivery and she informed me that I needed to be flexible because while I may want a vaginal birth, with multiples it is more common for a c-section so I should just be mentally prepared in case it comes to that. But I will have a better idea of how it will go down once I hit 32 weeks because that is when the babies usually position themselves for birth and typically don't change positions, although it can happen. This terrifies me a bit because I have always been afraid of having to go through a c-section, but I guess if it comes down to it I won't have much choice. So all I can do in the meantime is read up on ALL possibilities so I am aware of everything that comes with both types of deliveries. Although I'm pretty sure even then there will be things that could come up that I didn't know about!
The appointment ended with getting an ultrasound and wow do they have some pretty high-tech equipment!! The coolest part is they have a huge 50 inch flat-screen monitor on the wall in front of you so you can see the babies up close. The twins are apparently positioned in different directions so there was no way to get a good shot of them both together, but when she looked at each of them individually it was AMAZING. She held the ultrasound still to get their heart rates (which were coming in strong at 168 and 173) but did them one at a time. Here's the best part... BOTH of them were wiggling their little arm and leg buds around! It was unreal! Figures I'd have little squirmy dancers in there. It seriously blows my mind that there can be two little beings inside me moving around and I can't feel it. Craziness! The Ultrasound Tech even thought it was cool because they don't always move, so to see both of them shaking and shimmying was pretty special. I was kicking myself afterwards for not videoing it with my phone, but at least I got good pics out of it. Next time though, I am whipping out my iPhone!
Here are the ultrasound pics from that day: 9.5 Weeks
So I am now 11 weeks (which means I am IN my 12th week... that whole thing is still weird to me) and I am sloooowly coming out of the perpetually nauseous phase. Which, if you would have asked me yesterday I couldn't have said the same because I was ill ALL damn day. But... looking at it as a whole, it's not every single day any more so I am thinking that means I am on my way out of the trenches.
I've had a few doctor appointments in the past couple weeks. The first one being with my OB once my fertility doctor released me. I absolutely LOVE my OB (I had hand picked her last year when I was initially looking for one back when I thought I'd get preggers with no problem). The last time I had seen her was for my annual girl visit in December,where she had recommended I see a fertility specialist because I hadn't gotten my period after getting off birth control. So when she came in the room I told her all about my adventures with Premature Ovarian Failure and filled her in up to the present, a la me being pregnant with twins. I then began to rapid fire a list of questions I had ready, to which she answered thoroughly. One of the questions I asked was about delivery and she informed me that I needed to be flexible because while I may want a vaginal birth, with multiples it is more common for a c-section so I should just be mentally prepared in case it comes to that. But I will have a better idea of how it will go down once I hit 32 weeks because that is when the babies usually position themselves for birth and typically don't change positions, although it can happen. This terrifies me a bit because I have always been afraid of having to go through a c-section, but I guess if it comes down to it I won't have much choice. So all I can do in the meantime is read up on ALL possibilities so I am aware of everything that comes with both types of deliveries. Although I'm pretty sure even then there will be things that could come up that I didn't know about!
The appointment ended with getting an ultrasound and wow do they have some pretty high-tech equipment!! The coolest part is they have a huge 50 inch flat-screen monitor on the wall in front of you so you can see the babies up close. The twins are apparently positioned in different directions so there was no way to get a good shot of them both together, but when she looked at each of them individually it was AMAZING. She held the ultrasound still to get their heart rates (which were coming in strong at 168 and 173) but did them one at a time. Here's the best part... BOTH of them were wiggling their little arm and leg buds around! It was unreal! Figures I'd have little squirmy dancers in there. It seriously blows my mind that there can be two little beings inside me moving around and I can't feel it. Craziness! The Ultrasound Tech even thought it was cool because they don't always move, so to see both of them shaking and shimmying was pretty special. I was kicking myself afterwards for not videoing it with my phone, but at least I got good pics out of it. Next time though, I am whipping out my iPhone!
Here are the ultrasound pics from that day: 9.5 Weeks
So, I had my appointment with the genetic counselor a few days later. It was literally only a seven minute meeting. He started off by telling me about this really awesome and accurate new blood test That tests for Down Syndrome but when he found out that I was having twins he quickly scratched that and said it wouldn't work with twins. Reason being is the test detects extra chromosomes and with two in there, there would be extra chromosomes anyway so it would negate the test. So he quickly change gears and told me I would have to instead do an Integrated Sequential Screening, which is still accurate it but takes longer to do. The first part of it would be done at around 12 weeks.They do an ultrasound and check for the fluid sac at the back of the neck that has formed. They see if it is over-sized, which is usually an indicator of Down Syndrome. They also do a series of blood work to check the babies hormone levels. At around week 18 they do another check up where they do a full body scan on the baby during the ultrasound and do another blood test and put the two blood tests together to determine the result. So there's a lot more waiting involved, but I guess that's the only thing we can do. It is a bit nerve-racking to have to wait so long. After he did an intake of my family history he looked at that and my age and told me there's a 99.4% chance of the babies being perfectly fine. So that's some pretty good statistics there.
Next up, I had my "ACOG" appointment today with the nurse. I love her, she is really sharp,sarcastic and witty, which is right up my alley. We discussed thoroughly my medical history along with my family's And she talked to me about what to expect in the upcoming months. Apparently because I will be 35 when I deliver and the fact that I'm having twins I am considered SUPER high risk. What that basically means is I'll just be monitored a lot more bile whole lot more people. She said my next step is going to be meeting with the Maternal fetal medicine team at Winnie Palmer, where I will be delivering. They will do a 12 week ultrasound and conduct the Integrated sequential screening. Their job will be to look at my blood work and medical history and do a full work up on me in order to come up with a game plan for my doctor to follow for the remainder of my pregnancy. This will include what tests need to be done and how often I should be seen and monitored.That will be on top of monthly visits for an ultrasound at my doctors office where they will be monitoring fetal growth. So it sounds like I will be watched very carefully which is fine by me! That means better care for me and the babies! One thing that was a little scary was hearing how if it's before 24 weeks and you go into preterm labor They can stop it, but after 24 weeks they can't do Anything about it. Yikes! I guess that's why they stress after 24 weeks to take it easy so you don't come into that situation. I can't imagine baby surviving at 24 weeks. Then at 32 weeks maternal fetal medicine will start monitoring me either once or twice a week depending on my health at the time. This will consist of putting a monitoring band of some sort on my belly to check on the vitals of me and the twins.
The nurse also talked to me about nutrition and told me what I should and shouldn't be eating. I expressed my concern that I've gained 20 pounds in the past 11 weeks and she told me not to worry about it especially with twins that my body is just getting ready to be able to handle carrying them. She said it would be one thing if just eating chocolate cake and Taco Bell all day was causing me to gain the weight but if I'm eating a balanced diet and still gaining it then it's okay for now. She said most likely I will gain early on and less in the end But that if it bothers me she can have me look the other way when she weighs me. I love her!
She went on to explain to me that with a normal pregnancy your blood volume doubles but with twins my blood volume has tripled! This means I could be more prone to bleeding whether it's my gums, nose, or vaginally spotting. She also said it could mean getting migraines and if one starts to immediately take two extra strength Tylenol along with a little bit of caffeine and it should help. This surprised me because I had thought I couldn't have any caffeine. So I stored everything in my mental toolbox because I'm sure at some point the info will come in handy.
We talked about delivery and what to expect. Although everything will hinder on the direction the babies are facing, she said pretty much the same thing my doctor did which was that more times than not twins are born via C-section. Not exactly what I want to hear, but I need to be realistic and face the facts. I now understand that I have to be flexible and not set in my ways because really anything can happen and I just have to go with it. What choice do I have,really?!
Lastly,we talked about sex. She told me not to have any until I get 12 week check up. I got a little nervous because the hubs and I have already done it a few times since I've been pregnant. She said not to worry,but just hold off until the all clear in a few weeks. It could apparently cause miscarriage and we definitely don't want that! When I asked specifically why, she told me in her usual hilarious way that my husband ramming his "B-52 bomber" inside me hitting up against my cervix could cause problems. Enough said.I felt bad having to break that news to the Hubs but he was more concerned with hurting the twins than missing out on a few weeks of getting it on.
The nurse also talked to me about nutrition and told me what I should and shouldn't be eating. I expressed my concern that I've gained 20 pounds in the past 11 weeks and she told me not to worry about it especially with twins that my body is just getting ready to be able to handle carrying them. She said it would be one thing if just eating chocolate cake and Taco Bell all day was causing me to gain the weight but if I'm eating a balanced diet and still gaining it then it's okay for now. She said most likely I will gain early on and less in the end But that if it bothers me she can have me look the other way when she weighs me. I love her!
She went on to explain to me that with a normal pregnancy your blood volume doubles but with twins my blood volume has tripled! This means I could be more prone to bleeding whether it's my gums, nose, or vaginally spotting. She also said it could mean getting migraines and if one starts to immediately take two extra strength Tylenol along with a little bit of caffeine and it should help. This surprised me because I had thought I couldn't have any caffeine. So I stored everything in my mental toolbox because I'm sure at some point the info will come in handy.
We talked about delivery and what to expect. Although everything will hinder on the direction the babies are facing, she said pretty much the same thing my doctor did which was that more times than not twins are born via C-section. Not exactly what I want to hear, but I need to be realistic and face the facts. I now understand that I have to be flexible and not set in my ways because really anything can happen and I just have to go with it. What choice do I have,really?!
Lastly,we talked about sex. She told me not to have any until I get 12 week check up. I got a little nervous because the hubs and I have already done it a few times since I've been pregnant. She said not to worry,but just hold off until the all clear in a few weeks. It could apparently cause miscarriage and we definitely don't want that! When I asked specifically why, she told me in her usual hilarious way that my husband ramming his "B-52 bomber" inside me hitting up against my cervix could cause problems. Enough said.I felt bad having to break that news to the Hubs but he was more concerned with hurting the twins than missing out on a few weeks of getting it on.
After the meeting I had about six vials of blood drawn for everything ranging from lipid panels to HIV, all part of routine precautionary testing. I should get the results back next week along with a call from MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) to set my 12 week appointment.Can't wait for that so I can get more questions answered and get to see the babies again!
Meanwhile, although I am still working out every day, it's definitely not as easy. Granted, my body is busy doing other important work like creating TWO babies, but I
seriously must look like a lazy bitch in my gym classes now. I was
always so fit and could pump it with the best of them in class but
now I can't do nearly as much without getting winded. My strength and
energy is about half of what it was and I am lugging extra weight so
I feel like a sack of potatoes. And since I don't really look all that pregnant yet, it just looks like I've been over doing it on the
Krispy Kremes. The fitness instructors have oddly enough been
avoiding me in class. They walk around correcting and motivating
other members, but aren't doing that with me and I look like I am
totally half-assing it. So I am thinking it's SO bad they just figure
I'm hopeless! (ie: doing push ups with my legs totally on the
floor!). Hey... I'm doing the best I can and at least I am trying!
Other than that, not much else going on. Trying to figure out a way to make some extra cashola over the next six months. It would be cool to do something on the side like make scrapbooks for people, tutoring, or even put together fertility kits of all the stuff I was taking to take the leg work out of it for those suffering from infertility. Still wracking my brain for ideas...
Until next time... thank you to all those who have been writing to me with your questions and sharing your stories. Keep on fighting the fight and in the meantime I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way!!!
Talk to you soon!
Other than that, not much else going on. Trying to figure out a way to make some extra cashola over the next six months. It would be cool to do something on the side like make scrapbooks for people, tutoring, or even put together fertility kits of all the stuff I was taking to take the leg work out of it for those suffering from infertility. Still wracking my brain for ideas...
Until next time... thank you to all those who have been writing to me with your questions and sharing your stories. Keep on fighting the fight and in the meantime I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way!!!
Talk to you soon!
June 13- Life is Full of Surprises
It's amazing how your world can get flipped on its head in a matter of minutes. Whether it comes as a pleasant surprise or takes a turn for the worse, life can certainly change on a dime.
Some surprises are the kind of epic proportions. The Hubs and I are still floored that we are having twins. I wonder if that feeling will ever change?! People mention "the twins" and it still seems absolutely bonkers that they are talking about US! That I am the one having them. (Hell, I still can't wrap my head around how they are going to fit in my body! eeeek!) It also changes everything we thought about preparing for a baby. Because before there was a running checklist of: crib, car seat, high chair, etc... and now it's like, oh crap... we need TWO of everything like we're filling a freaking Ark of baby stuff! Yikes! Better get crackalackin on a registry! LOL
Then there are those susprises that knock you for a loop and take the wind out of your sails (and apparently write a lot of idioms!). So there I was on the last day of school for teachers and staff. I expected I wouldn't be there long, as the students' last day was the day before so it was only teachers cleaning out their rooms and doing some last minute housekeeping. Before noon, my boss came into my office and sat down to talk to me. Now, I knew there was a chance my position (Dean of Students) might get cut next year but my boss assured me that if that were to happen she would put me in another position and told me not to worry. So I didn't. Apparently I should have. She came in that day to tell me that my position was not only being cut, but there was no other position for me for next year. That's it. Cut and dry, I am out of a job. I can't believe it. I have spent the past four years busting my ass for this company and they can just let me go like that, without batting an eye. They had already been screwing me over with my salary this year. I had been promised upon getting my position as Dean at the start of the year, that after a probationary period I would go from my teacher salary to the Dean one. Never happened. And all I got was the run-around. So a few weeks ago I wrote a letter to corporate (and even told my boss I was doing so!) and pleaded my case to try and at least get the proper salary for the upcoming year. But instead they let me go! It seems they don't take kindly to employees asking for the money they deserve. So I quickly packed up my things and left out the back door, avoiding the cafeteria where everyone was gathered. I didn't want to cry in front of all the teachers.
Some surprises are the kind of epic proportions. The Hubs and I are still floored that we are having twins. I wonder if that feeling will ever change?! People mention "the twins" and it still seems absolutely bonkers that they are talking about US! That I am the one having them. (Hell, I still can't wrap my head around how they are going to fit in my body! eeeek!) It also changes everything we thought about preparing for a baby. Because before there was a running checklist of: crib, car seat, high chair, etc... and now it's like, oh crap... we need TWO of everything like we're filling a freaking Ark of baby stuff! Yikes! Better get crackalackin on a registry! LOL
Then there are those susprises that knock you for a loop and take the wind out of your sails (and apparently write a lot of idioms!). So there I was on the last day of school for teachers and staff. I expected I wouldn't be there long, as the students' last day was the day before so it was only teachers cleaning out their rooms and doing some last minute housekeeping. Before noon, my boss came into my office and sat down to talk to me. Now, I knew there was a chance my position (Dean of Students) might get cut next year but my boss assured me that if that were to happen she would put me in another position and told me not to worry. So I didn't. Apparently I should have. She came in that day to tell me that my position was not only being cut, but there was no other position for me for next year. That's it. Cut and dry, I am out of a job. I can't believe it. I have spent the past four years busting my ass for this company and they can just let me go like that, without batting an eye. They had already been screwing me over with my salary this year. I had been promised upon getting my position as Dean at the start of the year, that after a probationary period I would go from my teacher salary to the Dean one. Never happened. And all I got was the run-around. So a few weeks ago I wrote a letter to corporate (and even told my boss I was doing so!) and pleaded my case to try and at least get the proper salary for the upcoming year. But instead they let me go! It seems they don't take kindly to employees asking for the money they deserve. So I quickly packed up my things and left out the back door, avoiding the cafeteria where everyone was gathered. I didn't want to cry in front of all the teachers.
So
just like that I am out of work. I already was expecting to have the summer
off, but it's a totally different feeling when there is nothing to go back to
on the other side of it. And while the hubs and I already planned on me
quitting work for a few years once the twins are here, or at least just not doing something full time, we were counting on my
paychecks up until then. Not to mention, this means no more insurance for me. So I'll have to go on his and that is going to be WAY more expensive.
Ugh... The only glimmer of hope is that the girl who runs our company's virtual
school is anticipating needed an administrator for when they open up online K-6
in the fall. It would be a full-time position but from predominately working
from home and she said I have first dibs. Fingers and toes officially crossed.
That would be PERFECT for me so I sure hope to get it. I won't know until next
month. In the meantime I will just have to get on unemployment for now so I can
at least have SOME income rolling in. Not exactly how I anticipated things
going, but then again, when does life ever pan out exactly as planned?!
But hey, when life gives you lemons... grab some vodka and do a shot! Ugh... vodka... in another life that would have sounded fabulous, but now it just curdles my stomach. While I am absolutely over the moon about being pregnant, I am also absolutely over the toilet quite often. Retching my guts out while simultaneously peeing myself is all the rage these days and has become part of my daily routine. The best way I can put being pregnant so far is this: It's like being hungover when you have the flu and it's that time of the month. ALL THE DAMN TIME! lol. But hey... it is what it is and I'll get through it, however, I won't lie... it has been ROUGH!
I did have my final visit with Dr. T. and had another ultrasound. Babies are doing healthy and holy crap they are growing fast! **see below image for 6 week and 8 week ultrasounds** Heartbeats are strong and came in at 163 and 175, the little overachievers that they are!
Lastly, I want to give a special shout out to all of you who have been reading my blog. The feedback I am getting on a daily basis means more to me than I could ever put into words. The fact that my story is inspiring so many of you not to lose hope is all I ever wanted with this and it does my heart good to hear from you. There are even some of you who are starting a blog of your own stories (if you get a chance check out the blog of "Freija Chloe" at http://itsgonnatakeavillage.blogspot.com/ )
I DO think you ALL have a chance, despite what the doctors may tell you. Because life is full of surprises and you never know what it will bring! So keep hope alive and continue fighting the fight, you are stronger than you even realize.
Sending positive vibes your way. <3
May 30- The Art of Overachieving...x 2
Yesterday we had our first ultrasound! We were SO nervous!! It was the first time we would be able to SEE the baby... or, well, "blueberry" according to the What To Expect website. Hell, there could be a whole fruit salad in there and I'd be cool with it as long as it was healthy!
So we got to the Dr.'s office and anxiously awaited our fate. It was fun taking the Hubs into the patient room with the table and stirrups. That was his first glimpse of what it's like being at a gyno appointment! We saw the stick part of the ultrasound machine, the part that goes inside, and I asked him if it was gonna be weird for him being in a room where another man sticks something up his wife's hoo-ha. He laughed and said maybe a little. Too funny!
When the Dr. came in he was all smiles as usual and was super friendly as always. It was the first time the Hubs got to meet him. The Dr. was being all jokey with us saying, "so you're not all that interested in seeing the ultrasound, right?" Of course knowing full well we were on pins and needles. He got right to it- flipped on the screen, stuck the wand part in me and said, "good luck!" Within a matter of seconds Dr. T. says, "You've got to be kidding me!" ????Huh???? He says again, " You've got to be kidding me! Unbelievable." The Hubs and I were both like, "What?!?," wondering what on earth was going on. Then he said the craziest thing I've ever heard. "Twins." What???? I laughed and said, "You're messing with me, right?" He said, "I'm not messing with you. It's twins." And with that he showed us the two little sacs on the screen. I looked back at my husband with what I can only imagine was a look of shock, excitement, and sheer terror, all at the same time. I felt like saying, but I didn't order two! LOL. The Dr. said he may want to write a medical journal article about me. That this is unreal. The fact that I went from having POST menopausal hormone levels, was told by four doctors that donor egg was most likely going to be my only option... I then spontaneously ovulated and got pregnant before I could even have a period... and then to find out it's twins! He is absolutely floored! I think it would be fantastic to be in a medical journal. I'd love to be a part of anything that could offer even more hope and inspiration to others with my condition!
So the babies are apparently fraternal twins. Which means not only happened to spontaneously ovulate... I did it TWICE. Two eggs and two different sperm. I mean, I wanted to prove the doctors wrong and all but this is a bit much! LOL. I am completely shocked beyond belief! I never even dreamed this would be a possibility!
Needless to say we haven't been able to keep being pregnant a secret any longer. We had only told close family and friends (and of course all of you in the infertility world) but that was it. As of last night we did everything but put out a public broadcast announcement! We FB'd it and spilled the beans to everyone. We HAD to. One was hard enough keeping a secret, but TWO?? No way!
So... the next ultrasound is in two weeks. Since it was still so early we didn't get to hear the heartbeats but we were able to see the flutters! So next time we should be able to hear them. THEM. omg.... I am in total shock. Elated as all get out, but scared as hell! Where are they going to fit in me??? That's a whole lot of baby and not a lot of real estate! I won't lie, I am a bit terrified of carrying and delivering them... Sure people have done it many times before, but that doesn't make me feel any better! Yikes!
Well this sure explains why I've been so damn hungry! LOL! This is certainly going to be one crazy journey. I'll definitely keep you updated.
In the meantime... NEVER LOSE HOPE!!!! Look at what can happen with a little positive thinking and perseverance! Keep hanging on to hope and pushing forward and your dreams can come true, too! <3
So we got to the Dr.'s office and anxiously awaited our fate. It was fun taking the Hubs into the patient room with the table and stirrups. That was his first glimpse of what it's like being at a gyno appointment! We saw the stick part of the ultrasound machine, the part that goes inside, and I asked him if it was gonna be weird for him being in a room where another man sticks something up his wife's hoo-ha. He laughed and said maybe a little. Too funny!
When the Dr. came in he was all smiles as usual and was super friendly as always. It was the first time the Hubs got to meet him. The Dr. was being all jokey with us saying, "so you're not all that interested in seeing the ultrasound, right?" Of course knowing full well we were on pins and needles. He got right to it- flipped on the screen, stuck the wand part in me and said, "good luck!" Within a matter of seconds Dr. T. says, "You've got to be kidding me!" ????Huh???? He says again, " You've got to be kidding me! Unbelievable." The Hubs and I were both like, "What?!?," wondering what on earth was going on. Then he said the craziest thing I've ever heard. "Twins." What???? I laughed and said, "You're messing with me, right?" He said, "I'm not messing with you. It's twins." And with that he showed us the two little sacs on the screen. I looked back at my husband with what I can only imagine was a look of shock, excitement, and sheer terror, all at the same time. I felt like saying, but I didn't order two! LOL. The Dr. said he may want to write a medical journal article about me. That this is unreal. The fact that I went from having POST menopausal hormone levels, was told by four doctors that donor egg was most likely going to be my only option... I then spontaneously ovulated and got pregnant before I could even have a period... and then to find out it's twins! He is absolutely floored! I think it would be fantastic to be in a medical journal. I'd love to be a part of anything that could offer even more hope and inspiration to others with my condition!
So the babies are apparently fraternal twins. Which means not only happened to spontaneously ovulate... I did it TWICE. Two eggs and two different sperm. I mean, I wanted to prove the doctors wrong and all but this is a bit much! LOL. I am completely shocked beyond belief! I never even dreamed this would be a possibility!
Needless to say we haven't been able to keep being pregnant a secret any longer. We had only told close family and friends (and of course all of you in the infertility world) but that was it. As of last night we did everything but put out a public broadcast announcement! We FB'd it and spilled the beans to everyone. We HAD to. One was hard enough keeping a secret, but TWO?? No way!
So... the next ultrasound is in two weeks. Since it was still so early we didn't get to hear the heartbeats but we were able to see the flutters! So next time we should be able to hear them. THEM. omg.... I am in total shock. Elated as all get out, but scared as hell! Where are they going to fit in me??? That's a whole lot of baby and not a lot of real estate! I won't lie, I am a bit terrified of carrying and delivering them... Sure people have done it many times before, but that doesn't make me feel any better! Yikes!
Well this sure explains why I've been so damn hungry! LOL! This is certainly going to be one crazy journey. I'll definitely keep you updated.
In the meantime... NEVER LOSE HOPE!!!! Look at what can happen with a little positive thinking and perseverance! Keep hanging on to hope and pushing forward and your dreams can come true, too! <3
May 24- So Far So Good
Well... So far everything seems to be going smoothly. I went for my second blood test (Beta test) to see if the numbers doubled like they are supposed to and they did! They actually MORE than doubled! Score!! My TSH was a bit higher than the Dr. would like (my thyroid level) so they wanted me to come back in two days to get it retested to see if I needed to be put on medication to bring it down. It was at 3.5 and they want to keep it under 2. So I went back two days later and my numbers were still doing well but my TSH shot up to 5 in a matter of two days! So they immediately wrote me a script for Synthroid (50mg) and said that should bring my thyroid level down and keep it there. In the meantime, the Dr. wanted me to get a Cortisol test to make sure that wasn't rising along with my thyroid level. So of course I immediately researched the crap out of it. From what I gathered, he was most likely checking to make sure I didn't have adrenal fatigue, as having an elevated TSH along with Cortisol could be a sign of it. I received word back within a few days and my Cortisol came back normal. Whew!
Next up... First ultrasound on the 29th!!! The hubs and I seriously can't wait! It is SO incredibly nerve wracking!!! I just want to know everything is okay.
Until then... :-)
Next up... First ultrasound on the 29th!!! The hubs and I seriously can't wait! It is SO incredibly nerve wracking!!! I just want to know everything is okay.
Until then... :-)
May 13- Spilling the Beans
Tonight I got to tell my parents. It couldn't have played out more perfectly. My mom has been away on her "trip of a lifetime" to Europe with my aunt for two weeks, so I haven't been able to talk to her much. Last thing she knew we were having to make a quick decision on going for IVF (to which she said "go for it"). And let me tell you how hard it is to keep this big of a secret from her! Her and I are more like sisters than mother/daughter and I'm an only child, so you do the math! But this would be one secret that was worth the wait!
So her trip home was today and she was supposed to have a 4 hour layover in Miami, which is about 3.5 hours from where her home airport is. My dad was originally going to pick her up at the Orlando airport, but for some reason out of the blue he decided he was going to pick her up in Miami and drive her home so she wouldn't have a 4 hour layover. Which was really rather odd because my parents aren't together! They've been split up for 20 years but live 2 miles from each other and have only in recent years become somewhat friends. So him offering to drive all the way down to pick her up even though she already had a connecting flight home was surprising. But it actually couldn't have worked out more perfectly. That very same day I had to drive down to Ft. Lauderdale to stay over night for a company-wide Assistant Principal meeting the next day. And even better, the time she was getting in to Miami made it so they would be passing through Ft. Laudie right when I'd be checking into the hotel. Craziness, right?! And what better time to drop the baby bomb on the 'rents then when they'd both be together!
For some reason I was so nervous about telling them. But a good nervous. I mean, it couldn't have been timed more perfectly. Right after my mom's long trip, the weekend we were having to decide if we were going to give IVF a shot... on MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND... It's almost unbelievable! Anyway, so I bought a Mother's Day card that said "Grandma" on it. I also took a pic of one of my positive preg tests and had it developed to stick in the card.
The premise was that G and I have a few gifts for Ma for Mother's Day that we wanted to give her when we both see her the following weekend, but we had one gift we wanted to give her now. When my parents showed up at the hotel, I was nearly shaking with anticipation. There was no way I could drag it out so one of the first things I did was give my mom her "gift." Since G couldn't be there, I tried videoing it with my phone. It's not the best quality, but it is definitely worth it's weight in gold. Check out their priceless reaction...
Spilling the Beans- My Parents Reaction
Funny, I didn't cry when it happened, but I sure do every time I watch it!
So her trip home was today and she was supposed to have a 4 hour layover in Miami, which is about 3.5 hours from where her home airport is. My dad was originally going to pick her up at the Orlando airport, but for some reason out of the blue he decided he was going to pick her up in Miami and drive her home so she wouldn't have a 4 hour layover. Which was really rather odd because my parents aren't together! They've been split up for 20 years but live 2 miles from each other and have only in recent years become somewhat friends. So him offering to drive all the way down to pick her up even though she already had a connecting flight home was surprising. But it actually couldn't have worked out more perfectly. That very same day I had to drive down to Ft. Lauderdale to stay over night for a company-wide Assistant Principal meeting the next day. And even better, the time she was getting in to Miami made it so they would be passing through Ft. Laudie right when I'd be checking into the hotel. Craziness, right?! And what better time to drop the baby bomb on the 'rents then when they'd both be together!
For some reason I was so nervous about telling them. But a good nervous. I mean, it couldn't have been timed more perfectly. Right after my mom's long trip, the weekend we were having to decide if we were going to give IVF a shot... on MOTHER'S DAY WEEKEND... It's almost unbelievable! Anyway, so I bought a Mother's Day card that said "Grandma" on it. I also took a pic of one of my positive preg tests and had it developed to stick in the card.
The premise was that G and I have a few gifts for Ma for Mother's Day that we wanted to give her when we both see her the following weekend, but we had one gift we wanted to give her now. When my parents showed up at the hotel, I was nearly shaking with anticipation. There was no way I could drag it out so one of the first things I did was give my mom her "gift." Since G couldn't be there, I tried videoing it with my phone. It's not the best quality, but it is definitely worth it's weight in gold. Check out their priceless reaction...
Spilling the Beans- My Parents Reaction
Funny, I didn't cry when it happened, but I sure do every time I watch it!
May 11- One In Ten Million
Well... The Dr. confirmed it. I'm pregnant!!!
I can't believe it! I'm absolutely stunned. After being told I had a one in ten million chance of getting pregnant, here I am. It's unbelievable. So when I ovulated 12 days ago (unbeknownst to me at the time) the hubs and I had sex on and around that day and poof. Knocked up. Wow.
The Beta Test they did show I am pregnant and the Dr. himself called to tell me. He said he wants me to get retested Monday to see if my hormone level doubles (which is apparently what it's supposed to do every 48-72 hours). The hubs and I were jumping for joy! That was the moment we finally felt like this was real. I called Dr. Fu to tell her the news and she was elated and said it was a miracle. I told her I honestly feel like it was because of her treatment that it happened, and I wholeheartedly believe that. She asked me to give her the date of the day I ovulated (that she pointed out to me on my BBT chart) which was 12 days earlier. She explained that you count from the day of your last menstrual period as how far along you are. Since I haven't gotten a period since I got off BC last summer she added 2 weeks from when I ovulated, so I'm considered 4 weeks pregnant. Craziness. Dr. Fu said the fact that I'm only 4 weeks and the home preg tests were registering as pregnant even in the evenings means that the pregnancy is strong. !!!! Unreal.
So the hubs and I decided we're not gonna go make a public service announcement just yet, but we would tell a small handful of people who see closest to us. We told his parents via Skype (they live in another state) and my two cousins that are like sisters to me. As for my parents, my mom has been away for two weeks on her trip of a lifetime and is flying back on Monday. Her layover is in south FL and it just so happens that I'll be close to there Monday, as I have to stay over for an Assistant Principals meeting Tues. Well, my dad decided he was going to just drive down to pick her up rather than make her wait with a 4 hour layover to fly home. (Which is actually rather odd because my parents aren't together). But he figured then they could both see me together since it's been a while and then we can talk in person about whether or not we should for IVF. Ha! They have no idea what they are in for!! I'm planning on giving my mom a Mother's Day card that says "grandma" and put a picture in it of the digital preg test that shows "pregnant." They are gonna cry their eyes out! I've got to try and video it with my phone somehow since the hubs can't be there!
This whole thing is crazy. While I may have been determined as all get out, it medically wasn't supposed to happen. And now here I am, 4 weeks pregnant, the FIRST time I ovulated since getting off the pill 9 months ago (and who knows if it would have happened again), on Mother's Day weekend, the weekend we had to decide on trying IVF, and get this... My due date is the EXACT date I found out I had Premature Ovarian Failure and was told I couldn't have kids. The planets surely aligned to make this happen! I firmly believe it has everything to do with all the things I've been doing these past 4 months. The Chinese Herbs and Acupuncture being number one, in my opinion. That along with all the supplements, fertility massage, yoga, castor oil packs and wheat grass... All of it worked in conjunction to bring me from POST menopausal hormone levels, diminished ovarian reserve and completely nonfunctioning ovaries to having numbers in the normal range, ovulating and getting pregnant in the matter of 4 months.
And while we may be holding off from spilling to everyone, I just couldn't keep it from you guys. Not because I wanted to share the news, but to instill hope in each and every one of you. To show you that Western Medicine doesn't know everything. That if you've been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and given the Donor Egg speech, there is still hope. So never, EVER, give up!!!
Fingers crossed the pregnancy sticks!
I'll keep you posted!...
In the meantime, if you are new to my blog and want to know everything I've done in the past 4 months to turn my diagnosis around, if you go back and read through my posts I have written in detail about each alternative supplement and treatment!
I can't believe it! I'm absolutely stunned. After being told I had a one in ten million chance of getting pregnant, here I am. It's unbelievable. So when I ovulated 12 days ago (unbeknownst to me at the time) the hubs and I had sex on and around that day and poof. Knocked up. Wow.
The Beta Test they did show I am pregnant and the Dr. himself called to tell me. He said he wants me to get retested Monday to see if my hormone level doubles (which is apparently what it's supposed to do every 48-72 hours). The hubs and I were jumping for joy! That was the moment we finally felt like this was real. I called Dr. Fu to tell her the news and she was elated and said it was a miracle. I told her I honestly feel like it was because of her treatment that it happened, and I wholeheartedly believe that. She asked me to give her the date of the day I ovulated (that she pointed out to me on my BBT chart) which was 12 days earlier. She explained that you count from the day of your last menstrual period as how far along you are. Since I haven't gotten a period since I got off BC last summer she added 2 weeks from when I ovulated, so I'm considered 4 weeks pregnant. Craziness. Dr. Fu said the fact that I'm only 4 weeks and the home preg tests were registering as pregnant even in the evenings means that the pregnancy is strong. !!!! Unreal.
So the hubs and I decided we're not gonna go make a public service announcement just yet, but we would tell a small handful of people who see closest to us. We told his parents via Skype (they live in another state) and my two cousins that are like sisters to me. As for my parents, my mom has been away for two weeks on her trip of a lifetime and is flying back on Monday. Her layover is in south FL and it just so happens that I'll be close to there Monday, as I have to stay over for an Assistant Principals meeting Tues. Well, my dad decided he was going to just drive down to pick her up rather than make her wait with a 4 hour layover to fly home. (Which is actually rather odd because my parents aren't together). But he figured then they could both see me together since it's been a while and then we can talk in person about whether or not we should for IVF. Ha! They have no idea what they are in for!! I'm planning on giving my mom a Mother's Day card that says "grandma" and put a picture in it of the digital preg test that shows "pregnant." They are gonna cry their eyes out! I've got to try and video it with my phone somehow since the hubs can't be there!
This whole thing is crazy. While I may have been determined as all get out, it medically wasn't supposed to happen. And now here I am, 4 weeks pregnant, the FIRST time I ovulated since getting off the pill 9 months ago (and who knows if it would have happened again), on Mother's Day weekend, the weekend we had to decide on trying IVF, and get this... My due date is the EXACT date I found out I had Premature Ovarian Failure and was told I couldn't have kids. The planets surely aligned to make this happen! I firmly believe it has everything to do with all the things I've been doing these past 4 months. The Chinese Herbs and Acupuncture being number one, in my opinion. That along with all the supplements, fertility massage, yoga, castor oil packs and wheat grass... All of it worked in conjunction to bring me from POST menopausal hormone levels, diminished ovarian reserve and completely nonfunctioning ovaries to having numbers in the normal range, ovulating and getting pregnant in the matter of 4 months.
And while we may be holding off from spilling to everyone, I just couldn't keep it from you guys. Not because I wanted to share the news, but to instill hope in each and every one of you. To show you that Western Medicine doesn't know everything. That if you've been diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and given the Donor Egg speech, there is still hope. So never, EVER, give up!!!
Fingers crossed the pregnancy sticks!
I'll keep you posted!...
In the meantime, if you are new to my blog and want to know everything I've done in the past 4 months to turn my diagnosis around, if you go back and read through my posts I have written in detail about each alternative supplement and treatment!
May 10- What the....?!?
So last night I picked up some preg tests. Not because I thought I was pregnant, but more because of something my good friend from work said. My boobs have been killing me all week and I've been breaking out like crazy on my face and back. I just chalked it up to PMS, as I've been expecting the mother of all periods, as I haven't gotten once since getting off BC last August. My friend made a comment that she got like that really bad both times she was pregnant with her girls. So between that and Dr. Fu pointing out when I ovulated- which was right when we had sex a few days in a row- I figured what the hell...I knew it wouldn't read positive but didn't hurt to check.
I took the preg test stick out of the wrapper and set it on the bathroom counter. I usually have to pee in the early morning hours so I wanted to make sure I definitely used the first urine of the day. Sure enough my bladder woke me up around 5am, so I grabbed the stick and headed to the royal throne. I peed a lot (TMI) and with the light of my phone I checked the test window. Nothing. Not even in the control part. Just when I thought I somehow got a defective test, I realized my half asleep ass forgot to take the cap off. Nice. So I peed on the cap! Sigh... So I had to wait until next round....
The alarm and all it's pleasantries woke me up an hour later. I had to pee again so I grabbed a stick and this time, took the cap off! Waited a few minutes and checked (ok I was staring at it that whole time). Solid control line, light second line. Wait, what does that mean? Grabbed box to check. One line = Negative. Two lines = Positive. But this was a faint line. I walked to the kitchen to confer with the hubs.he looked at it just as quizzically as I did. No clue. I soon had to leave for work and took the other test with me.
When I got to work I immediately told my good friend what was going on. She fired back with, "and you better have brought the other one." I did. So I chugged my water, worrying that would dilute things too much and cause an inaccurate test result. Did the test again and damn it, same thing. Light second line. My friend demanded to see it and she said two lines is two lines, but I should go get a digital to be sure. I ran out and picked up a box of five. Heh...
By now I thought for sure there was no way this one was going to actually say "pregnant." The little hourglass timer thingy blipped on the screen for what seemed like an eternity. And then there it was. PREGNANT.
No. Flipping. Way.
My friend screamed and jumped up and down but I just still couldn't believe it. I emailed Dr. T. (Which was a reply to a string of emails back and forth regarding us making the incredibly difficult decision to jump into IVF within the next few days) and told him I had a few positive preg tests and asked what to do. He emailed right away to come in for blood test and a minute later the nurse called asking me the same. Unfortunately they close early Fridays and there was no way I'd make in time but they said I could come in at 9 the next day. Ahhhh waiting....
Even though the two more digital tests I took were both positive, the Hubs and I feel equally skeptical. I mean, we've had four Dr.'s in the past 4 months give the Donor Egg speech, two of which were just last week! We both feel like there was some strange explanation for all this and we are afraid to get our hopes up just to get let down. At this point, all we can do was wait...
I took the preg test stick out of the wrapper and set it on the bathroom counter. I usually have to pee in the early morning hours so I wanted to make sure I definitely used the first urine of the day. Sure enough my bladder woke me up around 5am, so I grabbed the stick and headed to the royal throne. I peed a lot (TMI) and with the light of my phone I checked the test window. Nothing. Not even in the control part. Just when I thought I somehow got a defective test, I realized my half asleep ass forgot to take the cap off. Nice. So I peed on the cap! Sigh... So I had to wait until next round....
The alarm and all it's pleasantries woke me up an hour later. I had to pee again so I grabbed a stick and this time, took the cap off! Waited a few minutes and checked (ok I was staring at it that whole time). Solid control line, light second line. Wait, what does that mean? Grabbed box to check. One line = Negative. Two lines = Positive. But this was a faint line. I walked to the kitchen to confer with the hubs.he looked at it just as quizzically as I did. No clue. I soon had to leave for work and took the other test with me.
When I got to work I immediately told my good friend what was going on. She fired back with, "and you better have brought the other one." I did. So I chugged my water, worrying that would dilute things too much and cause an inaccurate test result. Did the test again and damn it, same thing. Light second line. My friend demanded to see it and she said two lines is two lines, but I should go get a digital to be sure. I ran out and picked up a box of five. Heh...
By now I thought for sure there was no way this one was going to actually say "pregnant." The little hourglass timer thingy blipped on the screen for what seemed like an eternity. And then there it was. PREGNANT.
No. Flipping. Way.
My friend screamed and jumped up and down but I just still couldn't believe it. I emailed Dr. T. (Which was a reply to a string of emails back and forth regarding us making the incredibly difficult decision to jump into IVF within the next few days) and told him I had a few positive preg tests and asked what to do. He emailed right away to come in for blood test and a minute later the nurse called asking me the same. Unfortunately they close early Fridays and there was no way I'd make in time but they said I could come in at 9 the next day. Ahhhh waiting....
Even though the two more digital tests I took were both positive, the Hubs and I feel equally skeptical. I mean, we've had four Dr.'s in the past 4 months give the Donor Egg speech, two of which were just last week! We both feel like there was some strange explanation for all this and we are afraid to get our hopes up just to get let down. At this point, all we can do was wait...
May 8- Decisions, Decisions...
Well, I wrote to Dr. T. and asked if I do get my period (which he says I will) what kind of options do we have? If we should jump on something because I might not get a cycle again or if we should chance it and start using a fertility monitor on the day of my period and try naturally. He responded shortly after and said it is up to us how long we want to wait. That we could try naturally and hope for my cycle to continue, but it's a total crapshoot. He explained that IF I do ovulate again I have about a 5-10% chance of getting pregnant. And that's a big IF. Dr. T. often reiterates that it's only a matter of time before my eggs run out and stop working for good due to my severe ovarian aging.
The other option he gave me is if I want to be aggressive and jump on IVF as soon as I get my period. I about fell out of my chair. Every Dr. I have seen (including this one) has given me the Donor Egg speech. There were no options. Ummm big decision much??
I had my weekly visit with my TCM yesterday and talked about the situation with her. She was surprised to hear the suggestion of IVF so quickly but understands why. I showed her my BBT Chart and she was able to instantly point out which day I ovulated. The positive thing is the hubs and I got it on the day before and day of so that was pretty good accidental timing! Now wouldn't that be something... But I'm not getting my hopes up there. I'll still be happy to just get my period.
Anyway...on one hand I'm thinking if I ovulated this month maybe I will do it again next month. I've been sitting on a fertility monitor a friend gave me back in September
(not literally. What? That's not how you use it? LOL) And I could potentially start using it the day I get my period. I've read that using a fertility monitor can increase your chances by 50%, but it could also take a few cycles and I don't even know if I'll get another one after this or not. If I decide on trying IVF, I should be getting my period any day now so it's literally a matter of DAYS before I would have to start the process. It's expensive. Not that it will deter us from doing IVF, I just figured if it came to that we would have more time to be ready to drop that kind of cash. With the IVF the Dr. said I have about a 60% chance of it working. These repetitive thoughts keep bouncing back and forth in my head like a ping pong ball...what if I do get my cycle back for a few months? Then I could have a chance to try fertility monitor... but what if I decide to go that route and I don't get my cycle back. Then I will regret not trying and I don't know how I could live with that...AHHHHH!!!! This is the hardest decision I've ever been faced with. Or am I being stupid? Should it just be a cut and dry decision to do it because I don't know if I will get the chance again. Ya know, the whole "when opportunity knocks" thing. But again... what if I wait and see and try naturally? Ugh.... I don't know.
Then there's also the appointment I have with Dr. Check in Jersey next month. Plane ticket booked and all. I mean, if it meant being able to get pregnant here I am fine with not going to meet with h... Things are different right now than when I booked the trip and appt. But... That could change again at any moment...
I would love to hear from my readers on this... I know the decision is ultimately ours, but any advice or suggestions would be immensely appreciated. The protocol would be Microflare Lupron since I have diminished ovarian reserve. It's apparently the gold standard for people with DOR. Do I jump on it, do I wait and see? Oy Vay. My head is spinning...
The other option he gave me is if I want to be aggressive and jump on IVF as soon as I get my period. I about fell out of my chair. Every Dr. I have seen (including this one) has given me the Donor Egg speech. There were no options. Ummm big decision much??
I had my weekly visit with my TCM yesterday and talked about the situation with her. She was surprised to hear the suggestion of IVF so quickly but understands why. I showed her my BBT Chart and she was able to instantly point out which day I ovulated. The positive thing is the hubs and I got it on the day before and day of so that was pretty good accidental timing! Now wouldn't that be something... But I'm not getting my hopes up there. I'll still be happy to just get my period.
Anyway...on one hand I'm thinking if I ovulated this month maybe I will do it again next month. I've been sitting on a fertility monitor a friend gave me back in September
(not literally. What? That's not how you use it? LOL) And I could potentially start using it the day I get my period. I've read that using a fertility monitor can increase your chances by 50%, but it could also take a few cycles and I don't even know if I'll get another one after this or not. If I decide on trying IVF, I should be getting my period any day now so it's literally a matter of DAYS before I would have to start the process. It's expensive. Not that it will deter us from doing IVF, I just figured if it came to that we would have more time to be ready to drop that kind of cash. With the IVF the Dr. said I have about a 60% chance of it working. These repetitive thoughts keep bouncing back and forth in my head like a ping pong ball...what if I do get my cycle back for a few months? Then I could have a chance to try fertility monitor... but what if I decide to go that route and I don't get my cycle back. Then I will regret not trying and I don't know how I could live with that...AHHHHH!!!! This is the hardest decision I've ever been faced with. Or am I being stupid? Should it just be a cut and dry decision to do it because I don't know if I will get the chance again. Ya know, the whole "when opportunity knocks" thing. But again... what if I wait and see and try naturally? Ugh.... I don't know.
Then there's also the appointment I have with Dr. Check in Jersey next month. Plane ticket booked and all. I mean, if it meant being able to get pregnant here I am fine with not going to meet with h... Things are different right now than when I booked the trip and appt. But... That could change again at any moment...
I would love to hear from my readers on this... I know the decision is ultimately ours, but any advice or suggestions would be immensely appreciated. The protocol would be Microflare Lupron since I have diminished ovarian reserve. It's apparently the gold standard for people with DOR. Do I jump on it, do I wait and see? Oy Vay. My head is spinning...
May 6- Standing "O"vation
Last week, if you recall, while I was at my appointment with Dr. T. (the RE I liked) he did an ultrasound and said he saw some activity (Like my ovaries were playing tennis or something). He saw there were a few follicles in each ovary and one side looked like I ovulated. He immediately wanted my progesterone checked to verify. So I had my blood drawn in the office and was sent on my merry way. Dr. T. emailed me later that afternoon to let me know the test was somewhat inconclusive, with the number showing that I either already ovulated or was about to. And that if I didn't get my period by the weekend to come in Monday to get my progesterone rechecked.
So today was that Monday and I went in to do just that. Within a few hours I got a call from Dr. T's nurse letting me know that the test showed I had ovulated between my last visit and today, which was within a week. So the Dr. was right in thinking I was about to ovulate when he did the ultrasound. Now of course I'm wracking my brain wondering if any of the weird twinges I felt was me ovulating. That's the thing with not having a cycle...with every little odd feeling I am always wondering what the hell is going on down there! I asked the nurse a bajillion questions just to be sure SHE was sure I ovulated. And if that means I will definitely get a period. She said yes and I then clarified if she knows my situation- that I have POF and haven't had a period since I got off BC last summer- and she did.
So... I ovulated. Wow. Ok. I still kinda have this feeling of I'll believe it when I see it, ya know? And maybe the hesitance of being too excited also stems from the Dr. telling me not to get my hopes up too high because even though my cycle came back this month, it doesn't mean it will return the next month. That most people with my condition will get some kind if activity on occasion, but it could be just once a year, once every few years, or maybe a few months at a time. There's no predicting any of it. Sigh... It sounds negative, but I actually do appreciate his honesty. Keeps my reality in check.
Meanwhile while my ovaries are playing Russian Roulette, I'm wondering when AF is going to grace me with her presence and what that's going to be like. I've heard after not having it for so long it will come back with a vengeance. I imaging it will be something like this:
(It's an old SNL skit that is HILARIOUS)
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10234
That's pretty much how I imagine it going down. But all kidding aside, I don't care how bad it is, I welcome it with open arms! While I don't have any extreme PMS symptoms just yet, the boobs do hurt a bit and my face is looking like that of a greasy teenage fry cook. My forehead has broken out into a lovely constellation of zits. I'm pretty sure I see the Big Dipper.
The Hubs and I talked about what this means and I mentioned that Dr. T. said if I do ovulate I'll get my period and then there may be some options, but we'd have to act fast because we don't know if my cycles will continue. So we decided I will write the Dr. tomorrow (he is really awesome with emailing back quickly) and ask him what treatment options there are if all of this truly comes to pass. I'll keep you posted...
So today was that Monday and I went in to do just that. Within a few hours I got a call from Dr. T's nurse letting me know that the test showed I had ovulated between my last visit and today, which was within a week. So the Dr. was right in thinking I was about to ovulate when he did the ultrasound. Now of course I'm wracking my brain wondering if any of the weird twinges I felt was me ovulating. That's the thing with not having a cycle...with every little odd feeling I am always wondering what the hell is going on down there! I asked the nurse a bajillion questions just to be sure SHE was sure I ovulated. And if that means I will definitely get a period. She said yes and I then clarified if she knows my situation- that I have POF and haven't had a period since I got off BC last summer- and she did.
So... I ovulated. Wow. Ok. I still kinda have this feeling of I'll believe it when I see it, ya know? And maybe the hesitance of being too excited also stems from the Dr. telling me not to get my hopes up too high because even though my cycle came back this month, it doesn't mean it will return the next month. That most people with my condition will get some kind if activity on occasion, but it could be just once a year, once every few years, or maybe a few months at a time. There's no predicting any of it. Sigh... It sounds negative, but I actually do appreciate his honesty. Keeps my reality in check.
Meanwhile while my ovaries are playing Russian Roulette, I'm wondering when AF is going to grace me with her presence and what that's going to be like. I've heard after not having it for so long it will come back with a vengeance. I imaging it will be something like this:
(It's an old SNL skit that is HILARIOUS)
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10234
That's pretty much how I imagine it going down. But all kidding aside, I don't care how bad it is, I welcome it with open arms! While I don't have any extreme PMS symptoms just yet, the boobs do hurt a bit and my face is looking like that of a greasy teenage fry cook. My forehead has broken out into a lovely constellation of zits. I'm pretty sure I see the Big Dipper.
The Hubs and I talked about what this means and I mentioned that Dr. T. said if I do ovulate I'll get my period and then there may be some options, but we'd have to act fast because we don't know if my cycles will continue. So we decided I will write the Dr. tomorrow (he is really awesome with emailing back quickly) and ask him what treatment options there are if all of this truly comes to pass. I'll keep you posted...
April 30- Second Opinion Numero Dos
Went to my other RE appointment today for my 2nd second opinion (so technically it was a THIRD opinion). And I absolutely LOVED him! The crazy thing is of all the reviews I read on him, about half of them were negative stating that he has terrible bedside manner and a God complex. But a friend of mine did IVF through him and swore by him and my TCM recommended him, too, so I thought I'd give him a shot. I am truly glad I did because he was the nicest one yet!
From the moment my appointment started, Dr. Trolice. was extremely compassionate and thorough. He already had all my paperwork, so he knew why I was there. I gave him a synopsis of what I've been through the past three months and ended with sharing my latest blood test results. The best part was when I told him that I've been going to a TCM for acupuncture and herbs, he not only approved, he also actually goes to the same doctor!! He said, "Dr. Fu is a magician. And I say that with nothing but respect. Anytime I have a pain I go to her and she sticks needles in me and the pain goes away. I usually jump up and say, 'how do you DO that??', but she just tells me to relax. I don't understand how it works, but it does." I asked if it could be the reason why my hormone levels have changed so drastically. He couldn't confirm or deny because there is no medical evidence that it was the cause, but absolutely condoned me going. He spoke of a patient he had that went through two rounds of IVF with no success. The only thing she did differently the third try was go to Dr. Fu for herbs and acupuncture and had success the third try. Again, he couldn't say that was the reason, but he also couldn't say it wasn't. So that made me feel at ease with Dr. T. and that we were on the same wavelength.
Next came the hard part. He was straight with me and said with me not getting my period at all, it doesn't look good. That without it, there are no treatment options. I mentioned the suggestion Dr. B. had the day before with birth control followed by Femera (but didn't tell him I saw a diff Dr the day before). He said fertility drugs wouldn't work on me because they do what my brain is already doing, which is send a signal to my ovaries to produce an egg. We already know my brain is sending the signal because of the high FSH. He went on to discuss other options... you know.... the ever-so-gut-wrenching adoption and donor egg speech. Said that there will come a time where if I still haven't had a period down the road that my husband and I will need to make a decision. Because right now we are in limbo. Waiting. Waiting to see what happens. If my body will work again. But at some point if nothing has changes then it's no longer waiting, it's just wasting time and we'll need to make a decision on how we want to try for a family with the other options. That was certainly a bitter pill to swallow. He said he can see that I am a very mature, level-headed girl that will research and exhaust every possibility. (Boy does he have me pegged!) And that most women come in and start sobbing after two words and cry the whole time without listening. Funny as soon as he said that I felt like I wanted to cry. But I DID that. I've DONE that. It's actually been quite sometime since I've done it again. Of course then I started thinking about why I'm not still breaking down now and I came to this conclusion: For one, I still have my appointment with Dr. Check at the Cooper Institute in Jersey next month. So I feel like it's spare hope to fall back on. And secondly, to cry and sob and let it all out, to me is like saying it's over. That there's no hope. Well I'm not there yet. I haven't given up. And maybe I'm being stubborn and unrealistic but hell, what do I have to lose?? Certainly not the function of my ovaries! Ha! :-/ Yeah...
He ended the talk by suggesting an ultrasound, making sure I was on board with doing one. Absofuckinglutely. So we switched rooms and proceeded with the ultrasound. Endometrial Lining was about 6 mm (which beats the one from three months ago that registered at 2mm) On one ovary he said I had three or four follicles. Ok. Hey! That's better than none! Then he moved to the other side and said, "Well it looks like there's some activity in this one... three follicles... and it looks like you ovulated." ?!?! He immediately wanted me to get my progesterone checked to find out, and that they could do in the office. I asked what that means and if it changes anything. He said if I truly did ovulate that I should get my period soon and explained that even if I did in fact ovulate, it doesn't mean it will happen again or become a regular thing. It COULD happen but he doesn't want me to get my hopes up too high. So I had my blood drawn and was told I'd hear back within a few hours.
Around 5:30 I received an email personally from Dr. T. This is what he wrote:
"Your progesterone was 1.85 which means you are nearing ovulation or have ovulated and nearing your period. Levels below 1 are inconsistent with ovulation and above 3 are consistent with ovulation. In between is equivocal. But I believe this demonstrates a resumption of ovulation at least in the past cycle. The future is variable as we discussed. If you do not have a period then come in this Friday for another blood progesterone level."
Aaaaargh. So frustrating!!! Of COURSE my numbers have to be all complicated by being in between. Could have ovulated or could be soon. I feel like so many things have been "this or that." ...Could be hot flashes or it could be hormones coming back. ...Could be estrogen increasing or could be from the DHEA. I just want some kind of definitive answer on something, ya know?!? Grrrrr. But ok... I guess I can try to take it as a good thing. It "looks" like I "may" have ovulated. All I can do is wait for Aunt Flo, but I'm certainly not holding my breath...
**By the way... anyone in the Orlando area (or who doesn't mind traveling) and needs to see an AMAZING RE, I highly recommend Dr. Trolice at Fertilty CARE. State of the Art facility, incredible Dr with tons of awards and they even offer FREE IVF with all subsequent IVF treatments if the first one doesn't take! Definitely worth checking out! http://www.myfertilitycare.com/**
From the moment my appointment started, Dr. Trolice. was extremely compassionate and thorough. He already had all my paperwork, so he knew why I was there. I gave him a synopsis of what I've been through the past three months and ended with sharing my latest blood test results. The best part was when I told him that I've been going to a TCM for acupuncture and herbs, he not only approved, he also actually goes to the same doctor!! He said, "Dr. Fu is a magician. And I say that with nothing but respect. Anytime I have a pain I go to her and she sticks needles in me and the pain goes away. I usually jump up and say, 'how do you DO that??', but she just tells me to relax. I don't understand how it works, but it does." I asked if it could be the reason why my hormone levels have changed so drastically. He couldn't confirm or deny because there is no medical evidence that it was the cause, but absolutely condoned me going. He spoke of a patient he had that went through two rounds of IVF with no success. The only thing she did differently the third try was go to Dr. Fu for herbs and acupuncture and had success the third try. Again, he couldn't say that was the reason, but he also couldn't say it wasn't. So that made me feel at ease with Dr. T. and that we were on the same wavelength.
Next came the hard part. He was straight with me and said with me not getting my period at all, it doesn't look good. That without it, there are no treatment options. I mentioned the suggestion Dr. B. had the day before with birth control followed by Femera (but didn't tell him I saw a diff Dr the day before). He said fertility drugs wouldn't work on me because they do what my brain is already doing, which is send a signal to my ovaries to produce an egg. We already know my brain is sending the signal because of the high FSH. He went on to discuss other options... you know.... the ever-so-gut-wrenching adoption and donor egg speech. Said that there will come a time where if I still haven't had a period down the road that my husband and I will need to make a decision. Because right now we are in limbo. Waiting. Waiting to see what happens. If my body will work again. But at some point if nothing has changes then it's no longer waiting, it's just wasting time and we'll need to make a decision on how we want to try for a family with the other options. That was certainly a bitter pill to swallow. He said he can see that I am a very mature, level-headed girl that will research and exhaust every possibility. (Boy does he have me pegged!) And that most women come in and start sobbing after two words and cry the whole time without listening. Funny as soon as he said that I felt like I wanted to cry. But I DID that. I've DONE that. It's actually been quite sometime since I've done it again. Of course then I started thinking about why I'm not still breaking down now and I came to this conclusion: For one, I still have my appointment with Dr. Check at the Cooper Institute in Jersey next month. So I feel like it's spare hope to fall back on. And secondly, to cry and sob and let it all out, to me is like saying it's over. That there's no hope. Well I'm not there yet. I haven't given up. And maybe I'm being stubborn and unrealistic but hell, what do I have to lose?? Certainly not the function of my ovaries! Ha! :-/ Yeah...
He ended the talk by suggesting an ultrasound, making sure I was on board with doing one. Absofuckinglutely. So we switched rooms and proceeded with the ultrasound. Endometrial Lining was about 6 mm (which beats the one from three months ago that registered at 2mm) On one ovary he said I had three or four follicles. Ok. Hey! That's better than none! Then he moved to the other side and said, "Well it looks like there's some activity in this one... three follicles... and it looks like you ovulated." ?!?! He immediately wanted me to get my progesterone checked to find out, and that they could do in the office. I asked what that means and if it changes anything. He said if I truly did ovulate that I should get my period soon and explained that even if I did in fact ovulate, it doesn't mean it will happen again or become a regular thing. It COULD happen but he doesn't want me to get my hopes up too high. So I had my blood drawn and was told I'd hear back within a few hours.
Around 5:30 I received an email personally from Dr. T. This is what he wrote:
"Your progesterone was 1.85 which means you are nearing ovulation or have ovulated and nearing your period. Levels below 1 are inconsistent with ovulation and above 3 are consistent with ovulation. In between is equivocal. But I believe this demonstrates a resumption of ovulation at least in the past cycle. The future is variable as we discussed. If you do not have a period then come in this Friday for another blood progesterone level."
Aaaaargh. So frustrating!!! Of COURSE my numbers have to be all complicated by being in between. Could have ovulated or could be soon. I feel like so many things have been "this or that." ...Could be hot flashes or it could be hormones coming back. ...Could be estrogen increasing or could be from the DHEA. I just want some kind of definitive answer on something, ya know?!? Grrrrr. But ok... I guess I can try to take it as a good thing. It "looks" like I "may" have ovulated. All I can do is wait for Aunt Flo, but I'm certainly not holding my breath...
**By the way... anyone in the Orlando area (or who doesn't mind traveling) and needs to see an AMAZING RE, I highly recommend Dr. Trolice at Fertilty CARE. State of the Art facility, incredible Dr with tons of awards and they even offer FREE IVF with all subsequent IVF treatments if the first one doesn't take! Definitely worth checking out! http://www.myfertilitycare.com/**
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