October 29- Facing the Facts

The past few days I have been feeling okay and diligently awaiting the news of my release. I figured for sure I would be sent home on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, and as much as that would suck, I am willing to do whatever it takes. So when my MFM doctor came in tonight to check on me tonight, I asked him what the plan was. And while I appreciate the fact that he was straight with me, it was NOT the answer I wanted to hear....

I asked him when I would be going home. I was thinking a day, maybe a few... I had been getting mixed signals from the different nurses this whole time. One would come in and say, "so I hear you'll be staying with us a while" and the next would say if everything remained quiet in my cervix and no more contractions, I should be going home within a day or so. Well, my doctor told me he knows I like concrete answers so he was just going to level with me. He said I would basically be staying until the babies are born. Which might be days, weeks or longer. His words came out like a dagger... a dull, rusty one that got stuck in my rib cage. I could feel the tears brimming over and it took all I had not to lose my shit. My parents, good friend and husband were in the room with me and I could feel their eyes penetrating through me wondering how I would take the news. I could see the look on my husbands face, he who knows me better than anyone, and I could feel the crushing blow in his eyes reflecting my dismay. The doctors can't even give me a ball park estimate of how long this will be because everyone is different. Their hope is to keep me until 34 weeks, at which point if I made it that far I could go home. Which is baffling to me because if I made it that far, why on earth would they send me home then?? Wouldn't I be in the same position where if I went into labor again I'd need to be rushed here immediately? But apparently it is because by then the babies would be fine and it wouldn't be seen as a dire emergency as it is now since they wouldn't try to stop it at that point. That is 5 1/2 weeks from now. The thought of being holed up in here that long, left to rot in a hospital bed, is too much for my brain to handle. Of course, I could go into labor earlier, but their plan is to continually try and stop it if I do, which is torture unto itself. 

I just can't believe this. It has been smooth sailing the whole pregnancy and I have been super active and feeling great. This was the very thing I feared the most when I found out I was pregnant with twins. Everything I read was all doom and gloom and people going on bed rest and it had me in a panic. But as time progressed and I was doing as well as I was, I started thinking it wasn't going to happen to me. Especially recently when I reached the third trimester and I was still dancing six days a week and full of energy. The day I came in I had seen a lot of different friends and we were all commenting on how awesome I've been feeling and what a good pregnancy this has been. ALL of my doctor visits and ultrasounds have shown everything was going perfectly, so I feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me. It would be a lot easier knowing how long I will be in here, but the fact that it could be ANY amount of time is enough to put me into a panic attack. But I am trying to stay calm and positive... it's just really hard. I am such an active person so being confined to a bed indefinitely is a nightmare for me. But right now I have no choice, so all I can do it ride it out and hope for the best.

2 comments:

  1. Am Jessica Ivan from Las-Vegas USA,i am so lucky i found you Dr OKORO.Thank you for helping me to get my ex lovely partner back into my life.I am so blessed that you used a non forceful way of uniting and reuniting us.Our past,presence and future seems to have been all merged into one.You told me that everyone has a compatible soulmate whether in their life or waiting to come into their lives.I am so blessed and glad it's my partner of old.I did not want to really go and be with someone else,You have removed the extra baggage that has been affecting us and holding us back. Peace and thanks and more blessings to you.Dr OKORO for all your help,email okorohomeofrefuge@gmail.com

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  2. okorohomeofrefuge@gmail.com, I contacted Dr Okoro in regards of my Husband.who was no longer wanted to associate with me anymore.He was interested in working out of marriage,after begging and pleading with him I realized it was because of another woman,that he really was leaving me.My co-worker went threw a similar situation and told me that YOU had helped her. I cant thank you enough, I'm grateful she introduced me to YOU. After discussing the resolution with YOU, your get your boyfriend back spell has done more than what I expected. My husband not only came back to me, but he had also totally left his other woman for me and now we are happily married with kids, I don't know what I would have done without YOU,I believe you are my guardian angel.Dr Okoro,I want to thank you & your gods for all that you've done for me since all these days.I'm thankful for all the time & effort you & your gods have put into my case.I am very happy and I will always be grateful sincerely,His email is okorohomeofrefuge@gmail.com

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