Hot! Hot! Hot! (flashes?)

Hi guys... sorry it has been so long between posts. I barely have time to write on my main blog (My Twinspirational Journey) and I haven't had anything new to say on the POF front. I went to an Endocrinologist last month, per suggestion of my OBGYN. Since my ovaries are back to not working and my 36th birthday around the corner, I think it's safe to say I won't be getting prego again. Especially since I'm not on the 47,000 herbs and supplements I was on to get pregnant last year. Anyway, my thyroid was back on the high side as well (hypothyroidism- slow thyroid) so I had to go back on meds for that. Neither her or I were too concerned about my hormone levels since my estrogen was still okay. But I have a gut feeling that is going to plummet faster than a bowling ball off a rooftop. Just as I knew when I got tested again after having the twins that my FSH would be back on the rise. (51.6)

What I like about this doctor is that she is more on the natural side and doesn't push birth control or HRT. She actually agreed that if my estrogen drops again I should go back to Dr. Fu (my TCM doctor) to get herbs from her since it worked so well in correcting my hormone levels before.
So I have to get my levels checked again this coming week and will find out at my appointment on the 20th if my levels have gotten worse. I wouldn't be surprised. Lately I have been having trouble falling asleep and I've been feeling hot at night. No night sweats as of yet, but definitely feeling like my core temperature is higher. It could just be a fluke, but both of those things together is a combo I am all too familiar with. I saw Dr. Fu recently and mentioned to her about being considered post-menopausal again and she was really surprised. Even she calls them my miracle babies. She also told me she tells my story to her clients. I think that is REALLY cool because just last year I was the one hearing success stories about other clients. It's truly amazing. And it makes me feel so good to know that my story can bring the same hope and encouragement I used to feel when hearing them. Apparently she's had several people come in who said they read my blog. That is seriously wonderful. I wish the same luck and success to each of them and to all of you!

I'll keep you posted on my levels...

Stay strong and never lose hope!

Sending positive vibes your way!!

POF Update

So I never got my period back after having the twins and it's been almost 9 months (man, time sure does fly!). So I had my hormone levels checked just out of curiosity, although I already kind of figured my body had returned back to it's premature ovarian state. The nurse called me yesterday to let me know the results. So here they are:

Estradiol- 89 (normal range) 
Progesterone- 0.2 (normal range)
FSH- 51.6 (post menopausal)
LH- 49.2 (post menopausal)

My thyroid is also elevated which means I'll have to go back on synthroid, which is fine, thyroid issues run in my family.

When the nurse said my numbers she carefully said post menopausal and then paused for a moment, probably expecting me to be in shock or something. I explained to her that before I was pregnant my FSH was 133 with a near 0 egg count because of premature ovarian failure so this doesn't come as a shock. I'm actually happy my estrogen levels aren't depleted like before, although I have a feeling as my FSH inevitably rises, that will most likely drop again. I'm certainly not going on birth control again or doing HRT. If anything I'd go back on some herbs from Dr. Fu (my Chinese Medicine Dr) because I'd much rather go natural vs. synthetic. Hey, at least I'm not having hot flashes or growing a mustache yet! That's always a perk! ;-P

So there you have it. I know a lot of you were waiting on hearing if my body returned to normal after having the twins. Hey, I was curious too. But I already suspected this would happen. It took a LOT of herbs, supplements and alternative therapies (multiple times a day) to drop those two eggs last year, so I knew it wasn't just going to happen on it's own again. If I wasn't turning 36 this year or if I hadn't had TWO miracle babies, I may have considered doing it all again. But realistically at this stage of the game I feel lucky enough to have just what I always wanted, a boy and a girl, and believe me they are more than a handful! 

I do hope my story serves as an example that western medicine isn't the only answer, so if they are quick to tell you it's never going to happen for you or that donor eggs are your only option, just pick your head up, dust yourself off and go back and re-read my blog. And there are lots of other success stories out there like mine... where do you think I got the idea from to go the alternative route in the first place ;-)

If we can take anything out of all this it's to never give up or lose hope. Keep on fighting the fight. Try not to let your diagnosis get in the way of enjoying life and your husband. I speak from experience. While I was lucky enough to turn my hormone levels around in under a half a year, I do wish I could have those months back to enjoy the time I had with my hubby (and life in general) when we could do whatever we want at our leisure. Time is precious so try to dig deep and cherish it no matter what the situation, because anything can happen, especially when you least expect it! 

Stay strong and if you do have success, please come back and share your story! It's what gives others hope and the strength to power on! 

And as always if anyone has any questions, needs advice, or just a shoulder to lean on, you can write me anytime and I promise to get back with you as quickly as possible. (Just give me a few days buffer time, as I have my hands full!) 

Sending peace, love and positive vibes your way! <3 <3


April 14- No Flo

Welp... It's been just about three weeks since I thought I ovulated (which I swear I had to, I mean when else would you have sticky egg white cervical mucus??) but my period has not arrived. Even more strange, after the EWCM I continued to check down there and the progression of it seemed to be on course to surely get it ("and don't call me Shirley!"). Sorry, I'm a dork. Anyway, I even got really itchy for a few days and when I looked it up I read that it was a common symptom right before your period. So I thought for sure it was gonna happen. But then nada.? It's SO strange. The only thing I can think of is last year when my body was attempting to function again the month before I ovulated and got pregnant I had the same thing happen where I appeared to have the egg white mucus but then nothing happened. But then when it did it again the next month I really did ovulate. Is it that my body is slowly getting my hormone levels in check but there aren't many eggs so one won't always drop? Because technically the EWCM is caused by the surge in hormones so it could potentially start the process but not be able to complete it... I don't know. It's just strange. (And no I couldn't be prego again because we decided to go the oral route when the sticky fluid arrived). Funny the difference a year makes. Exactly one year ago when this happened I was desperately trying to defy the odds and conceive. Now I'm trying to make sure that fluke doesn't happen again. But so here I am back in limbo trying to figure out what the hell my body is doing. Guess there's not much I can do but wait and see what happens....

 I'll definitely keep you posted.

March 31- Awaiting Aunt Flo

Well... It's been a week since the potential ovulation and I'm anxiously awaiting the Red Crusader. For the past week I've been feeling stuff stirring down there, as if it's warning me: it's coming. If I do actually get my period, my fear is it's going to be a doozy. It's been so many years since I've had one I imagine that it'll be a build up of all the times I didn't and just hit me like a tsunami. I warned G to stay on his toes in the event I really do get it, as he may have to hunker down in a safe place for there's a good chance I'll be a fire breathing monster, smashing buildings and stepping on tourists. ...We do live in Orlando after all ;-)

My guess is if I'm going to be surfing the Crimson Tide, it will happen sometime in the next week or so. Right now all I can do is wait! In the meantime I'll stock up on chocolate and warn local law enforcement to stand guard....

March 25: O-Wakening?

So it's been five months since I had the twins. Seems crazy it's been that long already. The doctor had told me since I'm not breastfeeding that I should get my period back 6-8 weeks after delivery, aaaand... Aunt Flo has yet to pop in for a visit. So I spoke with Dr T (the last RE I had seen- he was the one who tested me when I first had a BFP and later told me it was twins...we have since kept in touch). He reminded me that with POF and DOR it doesn't mean you'll NEVER ovulate, it just means it will be rare and unpredictable. But considering I never got a period (even when I got pregnant that was the first time I ovulated since getting off birth control the year before. I had dropped two eggs and got pregnant and therefore my period never came). I figured I was back into my prior POF state with my cycle not coming back, but this time I had decided not to go on any supplements to try and get it back since I'm no longer trying to get prego. I've been checking my cervical mucus every day just out of curiosity to see if there were any changes, and for the most part it's stayed the same. Well... last night something weird happened. I totally had that sticky egg white cervical mucus! There was no doubt about it, it was definitely it. And it's still there today. Very weird! So... I just had to let you know since you've all wanted me to keep you posted on that. I still find it hard to believe I'll have a period it's been so many years. But all I can do it wait!

Funny the difference a year can make. This time last year I was desperately trying to get my cycle back so I could get pregnant and now here I am with TWO babies wondering if I'll get my period. It's crazy and nothing I could have imagined in my wildest dreams! I say this not to boast or make you jealous, I say it because it just goes to show you that anything is possible so keep that hope alive! I went after it with a feverish tenacity and tried everything and anything under the sun to make it happen. So keep on fighting the fight, ladies! 

And I'll keep you posted...

January 17- Back to POF Status?

I had stopped writing on this blog once I had the twins, as I switched over to my other blog. But it just occurred to me now that I'm no longer pregnant and my body is done healing, I still have more I can write about on here in regards to POF and my cycle after having the babies, if in fact I get it back at all...

So here it is 11 since I had the twins  (whew, does time fly!). Since I'm not breastfeeding, I was told I should get my period back between 6-8 weeks. But since I had POF before I was pregnant I've have no idea what to expect. The only time I ovulated since getting off birth control a year and a half ago was the month I conceived so I never even had a period. I know it was because of all the herbs and supplements I was taking along with castor oil packs, fertility massage and acupuncture that got my body working again (and then some!). But I'm now at 11 weeks postpartum and nada. Zilch. Nothing. No sign of Aunt Flo as of yet. I don't know if it's because of POF or if it's just delayed or what. And it's not like anyone can tell me. It's really just been a waiting game. 
The hubs and I joke that once I do get it, since it's been so long it's going to be holy hell and be like Poltergeist meets Lizzie Borden (my head spinning as I go ape shit with an ax... Sorry, had to give you the visual). But truth be told, I may not get a period again. I'm certainly not going to start the crazy regimen again that got my hormones back to normal. That was expensive and excessive and only for the sake of trying to get prego. Don't get me wrong, it was beyond worth it in my mission to have a baby but as far as just to regulate my hormones, it's way too intense. 

Which brings us to my birth control dilemma. I had decided a few weeks ago that I should just go back on birth control (because I do NOT want to use condoms like we're awkward teenagers, I feel like that is so impersonal and they suck when it comes to feeling). But when I went to pick up my pills I suddenly started thinking about how being on the pill messed up my hormones and was most likely the culprit behind my ovarian failure in the first place. I just think I'd be doing myself a disservice not giving it a chance to even see if my body will actually go back to working properly. So I didn't get them and we've been using spermicide, waiting to decide if the hubs should get a vasectomy now or wait just in case. In case of what I don't know.... I'm pretty sure we're done with babies and he's all for it, but something has made us a bit hesitant so we're just waiting a bit before the big snipsnip. But as for taking the pill, I just couldn't bring myself to do it least right now.

I would definitely love to know my hormone levels though. And as time progresses, if I still never surf the crimson tide I may just have to go and get tested just to see what's going on. Not because I want to have more kids, but if I'm not producing hormones that could eventually wreak havoc on my body. And if that's the case I may very well end up back on the Pill anyway. Every so often I get a twinge here or there and sometimes this it feels like I may get cramps, but then nothing. I'm not Sahara desert dry like I was before with POF but occasionally I'll have night sweats and I don't know if that's hormones coming back or going away. All I can do is wait and see what happens and take it from there...

I'll definitely keep you posted!